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Friday, May 04, 2007

Fiction Friday: The beginning

Fiction Friday
Edition #1
Rashenbo's Edition #1

Write Stuff prompted Fiction Friday today and I thought it would be fun to participate. Anything to get the creativity going and the brain all warm and energized is a good thing, right? I don't know what this story is yet. I don't even know the characters. I just met them this morning. I think it will be interesting to see what kind of people they turn out to be. If you decide to participate in the Fiction Friday, be sure to let me know with a linky link so I can stop by and read it!

Title: Untitled
Writing Time: 40 Minutes
Words to use: Climate, Guide, Flag

“The weather is nucking futs!” John said as he battled with the door. Fierce winds tugged at it; with a slam he pulled it tight and slid the bolt.

“Hey, man! What you locking the door for? I’m still open.” The man behind the counter said.

“What kind of nut would be out in this weather, Carl? Nobody is coming here today.”

“Well, you’re here ain’t ya.” Carl said. His height, slender build and bug-eyed glasses seemed more appropriate for a lab rather than a dingy bar. John could never shake the picture of Carl in a white coat.

“Give me a Guinness and shut up.” John slipped off his coat and tossed it on a bar stool.

“It’s that global warming. It’s changing our climate. The government, they are keeping it quiet… but, we’re all gonna die.”

John nodded his head and turned toward the hoarse voice, “Evening, Marty. Does Lucy know you are out tonight?”

Carl brought a tall frosted mug and a can that gave a metallic clink when he set it down. “Lucy dropped him off here. She got called in for some accident. She was worried about him being home alone in the storm.”

Footsteps shuffled against the concrete floor. A whiff of beer, tobacco, and sickness drifted to John. Marty’s gnarled hand shook against the counter as he climbed onto the stool next to him.

“That girl. She done right by me. She’s a good girl, just like her mother.” Marty sniffed.

“She is a good girl.” John said. Lucy was old enough to be his mother, but Marty always called his granddaughter a girl.

The wind kicked up again and John heard a rhythmic pounding. “Wow, the power lines are probably gonna get knocked over.” He said.

“That’s not the wind, dumbass. That’s the door. You locked out a customer.” Carl hurried over and unlocked the door. Immediately two people stumbled in and the wind tore the door from his grasp. Carl struggled against the wind to close it. When John heard the click of the bolt he smiled.

“What can I get for you?” Carl asked.

“We need someone to guide us to Flag Point.”

John looked at the couple over the rim of his mug. They wore long dark coats. He could see glints from the man’s wrist, fancy cuff links. The suit the lady wore was probably worth more than what he made in a month.

“Nothing up on Flag Point.” He said. “No reason to go right now.”

She stared at him. “Regardless, we need to get there. Can one of you take us?”

“Lady, it’s not safe. The storm is wind and rain now, but there is going to be hail and lightning. You aren’t going to want to be out in it.” Carl said with a smile that didn’t look all that pleasant.

“They need to get to the lab.” Marty spoke up.

“Shoosh, Marty.” John said.

“No, they want to go to the secret lab up there.”

“Marty, you know there’s no lab there. Carl even took you up there, remember?” John said.

“It’s hidden.” Marty said with a petulant tone.

“Sorry about him. He’s always got these crazy ideas.” John said. The couple had been quiet during the exchange.

“I think the three of you will need to come with us.” The lady said.

“I don’t think so.” John said.

“No, really, I insist.” Her hand moved quickly into her coat and came out with a gun.

A flash of lightning pulsed through the room. They heard a sizzle. Then darkness descended.

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2 Comments:

Blogger heather said...

fun. thanks for the link to the other blog, that had the prompt! i'm on a list that sends out prompts like this (5-7 words to use, instead of 3) and those usually get me fired up, too.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Karen (Write Stuff) said...

LOVED the ending!! I definitely wanted to know what the John, Carl and Marty's reaction to being kidnapped AND if there really was a secret lab AND who those people are. A great start to an interesting story.

I also liked the way you described Carl in just a few words "picture of Carl in a white coat." To me, that summed up the type of person Carl was in a heartbeat.

I also really enjoyed how you put some scents in there: beer, tobacco and sickness. That's something I need to work on - smells.

Very nicely done! And THANKS for taking the challenge!

11:42 AM  

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