Fear is Fear is Fear

"let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts" - FDR's First Inaugural Address

I woke this morning with the anticipation of a day for writing. It has been months since I have worked on my WIP. I spent some time with the children, watched some cartoons with them and squeezed in some Lava Girl and Shark Boy action. I then sat down at my computer. Did I pull out my ms and refresh my memory? No, I checked email. Did I then jump into my saved files of research? No, I went to bloglines to check my feeds. Did I then pull out my posterboards with my timeline and character notes? No, I spent an hour reading through posts on Backspace.

I don't need to be a psychologist to recognize delay tactics. I think we writers are particularly gifted with finding creative ways to hide. And, that is precisely what I was doing. I was hiding. Why you ask? I'll tell you why. I'm afraid - afraid of myself. Afraid that what I think is creative, entertaining, and a fantastic plot line is actually weak and unworthy of continuation. Well, acknowledgement is the only true way to combat fear. I read my previous 50 pages, pulled out my posterboard and forced myself to get back into the groove. After 20 minutes the "force myself" attitude was gone. I was suddenly there, in the middle of the rainforest, listening to the sounds of the monkeys, birds and chittering insects. Unexpectedly, a new character decided to join the team. His name is Puchito, a Ka'apor Capuchin. He looks very similar to this, another Capuchin. He's a naughty little monkey, but I think he has a very important role to play.

I spent some time reviewing some pharmaceutical research I'm keeping tabs on... and updated some files on endangered species, I needed to make sure I had the right information as I describe them in my story. 1,200 nice clean fresh words, incorporating two new characters and providing some scientific information that will tie directly to the core plot later in the story. It's tough to write smart stuff sometimes.

I took a break and played some princess monopoly with the Pea Pie. I also walked my heir apparent through the directions of baking a lemon poppy seed bunt cake. While it was baking she said she would like to play in the front yard.

Ten minutes later when the buzzer went off I ventured outside to get her. Lo and behold, she was nowhere to be found. She did not respond to my yells. She was not at the neighbor's. She was not at her friend's house (three houses down the cul de sac from ours). As the panic was rising and I was preparing myself to call my husband (who is working) and the police. I hear her voice carried to me on the wind. I race to the end of the block and see her flying into a different neighbor's driveway. She had decided to grab her scooter and go on a ride with the neighbor boy.

First, I never let my children leave the cul de sac unless they have my permission - which they know. They can't even go inside the neighbor's house without permission. Second, my body was shaking from fear and relief. Not a good combination for me. I marched her inside where I called her father.

As I now sit here while she sits in her room, I realize. I experienced two completely different kinds of fear today. Both of them internal and yet completely different in nature. Both of them powerful. The fear of harm coming to my child is the most primal and overpowering fear I have ever experienced. Even if you only experience it for a moment. That moment feels endless. The other fear is tied intimately with my internal self, a portion of my soul, one might say.

Fear is Fear is Fear.

I don't know about you, but it's a freckle past a hair at my house and that means it's beer time.

Death by Times New Roman

I once had a creative writing teacher tell me:

Kill a character your reader knows and it's a tragedy,

Kill a character your reader doesn't and it's a mystery.

For whatever reason, it's something that has stuck in my mind. I was thinking about writing my novel this weekend, and I say thinking because that's pretty much as far as I got with it. My novel is an action piece and as such, several stranger characters have already died. Really, they should have heeded the warning signs.

Anyway, I'm quickly coming to the point in my novel when one or two of the primary characters must bite the dust. They must be torn to pieces (yup, literally).

I find killing stranger characters easy and surprisingly satisfying. Nothing is quite so stress-relieving as writing someone's death by the teeth of a crazed jungle creature. And if the helpless victim resembles the jerk at work - all the better to make things more realistic, eh?

It's the build up to killing them off that's causing some obstacles for me. I don't want to suddenly pay too much attention to the character, but I also don't want the death to catch the reader completely by surprise. It's that balance...

So, how do you cope with the death of your characters? Do you go with a slow build or more of the direct approach with suspense? Do you treat death more as a tragedy or more as a mystery?

13 Things I've learned about the Amazon

Thursday Thirteen brings you 13 things I've learned about the Amazon!

My work in progress takes place in the Xingu-Tapajos region of the rainforest. Since I don't happen to live in the Amazon, I've had to do a lot of research. I wanted to share 13 things that I've learned in the research I've done for my novel.

1. The Amazon is the largest river in the world. At the most narrow, it is 1.2 miles wide.

2. The Amazon Basin is nearly 140 times the size of Costa Rica.

3. The Xingu Valley is one of the largest tributaries in the Amazon. It's nearly the size of France.

4. Cattle ranching and logging are the two most important economic activities in the lower Xingu region.

5. The Tucuma Palm (26 to 66 feet tall) are covered with long black spines and the fronds are relatively small. The fruits are popular. They can also make a cream of Tucuma Butter (like cocoa butter).

6. The Piraha are an indigenous tribe who live on the Maici River. Their numbers are now down to 200 people. They have a fascinating language, which the men whistle. There are no relative clauses or grammatical recursions and the language only has 7 consonants and 3 vowels.

7. Vincristine is an anticancer drug that comes from periwinkle.

8. Ayahuesca is a hallucinogenic brew that comes from lianas (vines). It is often used as medicine or part of a ceremony. There is a very interesting ceremony I found that uses it and it's mentioned in my novel.

9. The Lear's Macaw was seen by illustrator, Edward Lear. However, it wasn't scientifically discovered until 1858 by Charles Lucien Bonaparte, nephew of Napoleon. It was pretty much unseen and the mystery of the origin of the bird began. Ornithologist Helmut Sick started searching for the Lear's in 1954. It took over 20 years, but finally he found them. It took 120 years to resolve the mystery of the Lear's Macaw.

10. The Urucu-Manaus pipeline will travel 670 kilometers through the Amazon to Manaus.

11. Electronorte is proposing a huge dam on the Xingu river called the Belo Monte. It is being heavily protested.

12. Brazil is considered the most biologically diverse country in the world. It has over 30% of the world's rainforest and more than 55,000 vascular plants (17,000 are endemic to Brazil). There are more than 500 mammal species, 460 reptiles, and 500 amphibians that naturally occur in Brazil - and we don't even want to try and count all the creepy crawlies.

13. Rivers that look like tea are called blackwater rivers. Rivers that are milky brown are called whitewater rivers. These are not the same as the clear whitewaters that canoers and kayakers are familiar with.

The many layers of novel writing

Last night, as my mind wandered I found myself thinking about my work in progress. I’m not moving forward as I should be – not because I’ve got plot block. No, I know what comes next, but, I’m dissatisfied with the quality and flow of the last few thousand words.

We beat the dead horse over first drafts and inner editors. It’s just hard to get past that sometimes. When a painter decides to paint a picture of a bouquet of flowers, he doesn’t start with a petal. He starts with the curtain of the backdrop. Then, when dry enough he adds some shading and depth, and then begins on the centerpiece; painting the pieces that will result in the vision of the painter’s inner eye.

I know that I must follow the same concept: complete my first draft, which is my background. When dry, come through a second time and start working on the depth and texture. Go over it, again, to make the final masterpiece come alive and only then, if I’m lucky, will it match the masterpiece I am expecting.

The Research Files: Harpy Eagle

As we all know... research is a critical component of any story. As writers, we spend hours reading, watching, asking and absorbing (yes, I just love those gerunds)... now, sometimes we carry too much of that research with us and put a little too much into the story.

Sean likes Harpy Eagles... and they are pretty awesome. I'd thought I'd share some of what I've learned... after all, if Sean knows all about them - I need to as well.

- The Harpy Eagle stands over 3 feet tall.

- Wingspan can reach seven feet

- Females are quite larger than males (some reports say twice as large, others say three times)

- The Harpy Eagle talons are the longer than a grizzly bears

- They eat monkeys, sloths (their tasty treat), and sometimes - small antelope

- They can exert several hundred pounds of pressure with their talons

- They have a chick every two to three years and don't reach sexually maturity until four or five

- They are threatened

- The Harpy Eagle is the national bird of Panama

- Latin name: Harpia Harpyja from Harpe (don't we all recall the harpies from mythology?)

What is threatening the Harpy Eagle? Deforestation

Meat Sean Watts, Eco-Challenger

1. Sean, I'd love to let my readers get a chance to know more about you. Could you tell us where you live?

I live in Manaus, near the Amazon river. I've got a cozy little boat that does an adequate job of keeping the skeeters away.

2. Have you always lived there?

No, heh, I'm originally from the Ozarks of Missouri.

Yeah, I see you thinking of a hillbilly comment... it's best you kept that a thought.

3. That's a pretty big change in location, what do you do there?

I'm a tour guide. I take boats up the Rio Negro and take tourists and adventurers on strolls through the jungle.

4. Sounds like fun!

It's something to do. Keeps me out of an office.

5. You were a member of an Eco-Challenge team. What did you have to do to make the team?

I worked hard. I had to push my limits and embrace the thrill of adventure.

6. I read some articles that you had a rough childhood. Would you mind telling us about that?

Yes. But I know you are a nosy, pain in the ass who won't leave me alone until I tell you more. My mother stayed at home with me. My father worked in construction... he had a passion for Schlitz... and Jack... and anything else that would help him "relax".

7. So he was an alcoholic?

Yeah. You could say that.

8. I understand that you lost your mother while you were young. I'm sorry for your loss.

*Shrug* I don't really remember much of her, other than her constant praying... and her moans after my father finished using her as a punching bag.

9. Well, I'm sure she's in a better place now, with God's grace.

*He snorts*

What? You don't agree?

I might, if I thought there was a God and if I thought she was deserving.

10. Um... Ok... Well... Uh, It must be amazing to see all the wildlife in the rainforest. What's your favorite creature?

The poison-dart frog is pretty darn cool... but, I think I'd have to say the Harpy Eagle.

11. How do people get in touch with you for a tour?

I've got a few deals with hotels, travel agents and I've got a friend who handles some of the internet work for me. I don't like working all the time, so my tours are sometimes spaced out a bit.

12. So, what's next for Sean Watts?

I've actually just been hired as a guide for a larger project. I'm afraid I can't tell you any details at the moment though. I'll be out of Manaus for a little while.

13. Hello fellow Thursday Thirteener! Sean Watts is the protag in my "Work In Progress". He's been spending a lot more time with me recently. He's fascinating but also a little annoying and... he can be a real ass sometimes. I hope that he continues to keep me company. I really need to finish his story.

Wrap up to the Crap-o-Meter

For those of you just tuning in, Miss Snark, the literary agent, held a crap-o-meter. She offered a window of time for her snarklings to submit a 250 word hook of their story. She received some 700 entries. It took her quite a bit of time and quite a few blog entries.

What did I learn from the CoM?

1. Subjectivity is no joke. There were some hooks that I thought sounded interesting. Miss Snark said they were old. There were some I thought sounded dreadfully boring... and Miss Snark thought they were intriquing. I thought there were some that sounded, well... stupid and Miss Snark agreed!

2. There are a lot of creative people out there who love writing. As just a snapshot, the CoM shows how many people are thinking of a novel and developing plot and character. Some of them I am envious of their voice and talent... and some of them need to head over to 101 reasons to stop writing.

3. When the time comes to choose your literary agent, it's not just important to make sure the agent represents your genre... but that the agent represents work like yours within that genre. Or that they state they are looking for something that matches what you're offering. It was obvious by some of Miss Snarks comments that some of the hooks simply didn't appeal to her taste. Some genres have a fairly large variety and even though the agent may represent books within that genre, he or she may not like the kind that you are offering.

On the writing journey, so much experience is gained…

Many people have the desire to write a novel. They enjoy reading and they toy with thoughts of writing and one day an idea comes to them. They think: That would make such an excellent plot. I’m going to write a book! - They sit down and get started.

Some of them kept with it… and some of them didn’t. Other people may have started writing simply because they have a passion for words and somewhere they picked up this need to write. It’s like breathing… one of life’s little necessities.

David Eddings said, “Start early and work hard. A writer's apprenticeship usually involves writing a million words (which are then discarded) before he's almost ready to begin. That takes a while.” Yeah… no joke there.

“Experience is one thing you can’t get for nothing.” Oscar Wilde
You do not want to see my first novel… it was never finished and I keep it close to me so that I can remind myself how far I’ve come. I’m not published. I’m not an expert. However, I wanted to share some of the things I have learned on my writing journey.

Subjective

If you don’t know what this word means, learn it. Right now. Come back when you know. I’ll wait here.

Writing is art. Art is subjective. You will not please everyone. Some people will love your work. Some people will hate it. Some people will think it reflects your intelligence or stupidity. They will all comment with their opinion.

Defense

If you want to seriously take part in the writing process… prepare your defense mechanisms now. This is termed: “grow a thick skin”. People have a multitude of ways to communicate and one day, someone will say “Wow, this is terrible. Your plot is boring, your characters are as flat as pancakes and your syntax is as crooked as John Boy’s teeth.”

Don’t cry. Don’t argue. Grin and bear it. Sometimes, those people are right and there is something you need to improve. Sometimes, those people are wrong. Regardless of how they say it, consider it to see if it has value TO YOU (see subjective) and then set it aside to consider when you do your revisions.

Revisions

If you are working on your manuscript and you aren’t finished with your novel. Put revisions aside. You will become lost in edits. The only thing writers get more obsessed about than writing the story… is editing the damn thing. I didn’t finish my first novel because I got lost in those edits. I changed main characters twice, changed the plot three times, rewrote the prologue scene, etc.

If you are going to write a novel, story, whatever… commit to it. Finish it… and then you get to play with your red pen.

This is a three part article and the continuation will be posted later today or tomorrow.

The Crap-O-Meter Cometh

Well, crappers, here's the Snark's view on my hook. I didn't even realize how someone not familiar with the story might link it to the Predator movie. Course, now that I look at my hook with that movie in mind, I see how it does make it sound like it. Yup, I did a piss-poor job of describing my plot in 250 words. There are no military, no aliens... the only real similarity is that both stories happen to occur in the jungle... and both stories happen to have characters trying to get out alive (but even that part is only partially similar).

What can I take from this? It gives me the ability to see what people think when they see that initial description I give them. It'll help me figure out how to tailor my description to be a better representation of my novel.

On a completely side note... as I was waiting for my hook to hit the crap-o-meter I found a couple of interesting links. If you are a fan of Hannibal Lecter by Thomas Harris here's an interesting blog post on the new book.

And, fresh from Backspace a link to some news about Judith Regan, the publisher who was working on the OJ Simpson book If I Did It, got canned.

In preparation of the Crap-O-Meter

Today we get to submit our 250 word hook to Miss Snark. I'm going to share the first draft with you. There are several things wrong with this particular draft and I'll be editing it to tighten it up and to clean up some of those pesky errors that tend to slip through when your writing quickly. My grammar and mechanics aren't the best in my blog posts, but I can't let things slide for my hook, query, synopsis or manuscript.

[Title] is an adventure that carries the reader through the heart of the Amazon.

Sean Watts’ life is just the way he wants it – minimal responsibilities and a job that appeases his wanderlust. As a guide on the Rio Negro, Sean’s no novice to jungle adventures. When he’s approached by the Harkness Institute to lead a group in search of some missing scientists, he accepts the chance to pocket the extra cash.

A World Health Organization physician, an American telecommunications specialist, and an indigenous tribesman are just a few members of his team. At first, Sean doesn’t consider the unusual mixture of individuals selected by the Harkness Institute, but it becomes obvious they were brought together for a purpose. Shortly after entering the depths of the Amazon rainforest they become hunted. One-by-one, they are being picked off, either to disappear into the darkness or to have their butchered remains left, as if to taunt those still living.

The missing scientists play only a small role in the real interests of the Harkness Institute. Adelia Harkness, its director, has a greater mission. The members of the team have been selected to play a part in an experiment. One that Adelia hopes will change the future of the rainforest and eventually, the world.

While Sean and the remaining survivors race for their lives to escape the jungle, forces are at work inside the institute that threaten to topple man’s long-held position at the top of the food chain.

I'll post the updated version and link to it on the Snark site... unless I don't get in for some reason!

Backspace Writers Conference '07

Miss Snark posted a link to some details of a "scholarship" for two writers to the 2007 conference.

I WANT IT

Crap, I had my goal set for June of 07 for novel completion, edit, edit, revision... but that's too long. I'm seriously going to have to put my nose to the grindstone. I'm going to have to finish my first draft much, MUCH, sooner.

*I crack my knuckles and flex my fingers over the keyboard*

There is nothing like pressure to get me moving. I excel when I have a challenge and the goal is something I really want. So, here I go ladies and gentlemen. Let's see if I can get a complete manuscript by February 10th. That'll give me a couple of weeks to harrass all my writer buddies to beta read.

You may find that I'm not blog surfing quite as much over the next two months. I've got to get my ass moving!

Breaking 10,000... Yay me!

I had a goal to reach 10,000 words this weekend. I just broke it... my 10,000th word? 'she' Gotta love those pronouns. Here it is, the line that broke this week's goal:

"Sean realized this was the most she had said to him. He enjoyed hearing her voice and didn’t want her to stop. "

Looking at it here all by its onesie makes me think it's a pretty weak passage... and the itch to edit it is already making my fingers twitch. I'll have to set that urge aside for now. I'm on a roll and want to keep going while I've got the steam. Now I'll have to give myself a new goal for next week.... I'm thinking breaking 15,000 by next weekend.

Current Stats to the Action/Thriller "Work in Progress"
Deaths: 2
Subplots: 3
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,071
Blaring out the headphones: "Comfortably Numb" Pink Floyd